How dare you throw Newcastle United socks in a urinal…

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The Mag

·21 December 2023

How dare you throw Newcastle United socks in a urinal…

Ahead of each Newcastle United game, the Editor of The Mag invites a number of regular / irregular contributors to give their instant reaction following the final whistle, comments on the game.

Well, on Tuesday night I didn’t comment after being in the Shed upper tier at Stamford Bridge, directly behind the goal.

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I had a perfect view of the painful penalties. I could not comment as I was gutted by the defeat.

How could this happen?

The top boys from Gossy had managed to get me a ticket and had let me know on Monday they were coming down. Great stuff, I couldn’t wait to see us dispatch the unpleasant West Londoners back to where they belong – obscurity.

So, it is beers after work at Earls Court. Down to the Bottlery, for £7.50 pints with my mates, then down to Stamford Bridge to watch the Mighty Mags win and take us to a semi-final!

Well, here is the sticking point.

I have never seen us win at Chelsea.

I once stood on the Shed back in the early nineties and have lost count of the number of games I have seen us beaten there. Ruud Gullit, while playing at Dutch club PSV in the 80s, suggested they switch from black shorts and red-and-white hooped socks to all white shorts and socks, arguing it made the players look bigger and more powerful. The club continue to play in white socks to this day.

Ruud Gullit believed white socks were a key to success and while manager of Newcastle United, we wore white socks. Gullit took us to an FA Cup final. On that cup final day my mates came down to London to stay at mine and go to the final. They were wearing lucky white NUFC socks. The belief that any advantage such as wearing white football socks would influence the outcome of a game. We all know the outcome.

That Saturday evening a decent crew of us were on the beers and ended up at the 333 Club in Old Street. One lad so angry at not winning the famous trophy takes his socks off in disgust and throws them in the urinal. F… Gullit being the resounding feeling but then there is the rationality.

How dare you throw Newcastle United socks in a urinal.

Socks were fished out and diligently washed and dried with the hand drier, this all done after consuming huge amounts of alcohol and other substances (this is the Nineties don’t forget).

So back to Tuesday night, were we wearing white socks? Probably not, as Chelsea wear white socks. This season we are wearing white socks as a first team choice. Me? I always liked the black and white hooped socks as sported by Supermac and Kenny Hibbitt.

However, I still have those white socks stashed away, along with the other memorabilia such as Tuesday’s programme, which I dropped in a puddle in the toilet of the Shed End. Chelsea is a toilet.