11 times Peter Crouch was a national treasure: Twitter jokes, meeting Ronaldo, go-karts… | OneFootball

Famously awkward-looking at 6’7″, Crouch was initially written off as a gangly, awkward six-foot-seven teenage football hopeful, shunted from club to club before enjoying an incredibly successful career.

Since retiring in 2019, he’s established the popular ‘That Peter Crouch Podcast’ and written a number of books that have been met with acclaim.

We’ve identified 11 moments that prove the former England international’s status as a national treasure.

Goal attempt

We’ve all been there.

Forgetfulness

Truly a modest hero.

Meeting Ronaldo

“I met Ronaldo once, actually. I was on holiday in Ibiza and I saw him on the beach. He was busy getting through bottles of beer and had an ashtray balanced on his stomach.

“Every time he finished his drink, the supermodel who was with him brought him another.

“The chance to have a picture with him was too good to turn down, so I went over. I hoped he was going to say: ‘Oh, you’re Crouch!’ but he didn’t have a clue who I was.

“The picture was taken and off I went with him oblivious to the fact I was a footballer.”

Abbey Clancy

‘Just putting my cards on the table’.

Go-karts

Rafa Benitez wanted to diffuse the tension by taking his Liverpool squad on a go-karting trip ahead of their 2007 Champions League Final clash with AC Milan.

“Everyone had stopped in the pits and as I came in, I came in fast for a bit of fun,” Crouch recalled.

“I slammed the brakes – gone. No brakes. It was literally Alonso or Kuyt and I thought, ‘Who do we need most?’

“I went straight into Kuyt.

“To be fair to him, he was so quick. My brakes had gone, I didn’t know what to do. He sort of spread his legs and I went through the middle of them.”

Better than Ronaldo

Crouch celebrated a goal in 2014 with an imitation of Cristiano Ronaldo, and took to Twitter to mock himself.

Time for loved ones

Even in the off-season, the ex-England striker doesn’t ever miss a trick.

Jockeys

The giant striker posed for a picture with a jockey, and it was only going to end one way.

Perspective

“I always feel everyone in football takes themselves really, really seriously. My problem was people scoring and not celebrating. You’ve got the best job in the world, just f*cking enjoy it,” he said in an interview with The Telegraph in 2019.

“I’d look at other players who were all, ‘urgh, I’ve got to do this, do that’, and couldn’t get my head around thinking it was a chore. Put it in perspective: you could be finishing at 8pm every night. We were finishing at one.”

Twitter debut

Every dad in the country has done this joke and Crouch is all the more relatable for it.

A true family man.