If you want loyalty – Buy a Spaniel! | OneFootball

Transfer windows are like having relatives round for Christmas. Some people get all excited about it, while others do their best to just get through it so they can get back to their normal routine.

I gave up worrying about transfer windows ages ago.

One year, frustrated by the lack of January additions to the Newcastle United first team, I spent a couple of hours browsing through the more respected online papers and in that relatively small period of time, I counted a total of 103 quality players that Newcastle United had been “linked to.”

Of course, not one of them arrived.

Could it be possible that the mainstream media can be a little lax when it comes to fact checking what they report?

When else during the season would a “reputable” media outlet bother to quote an article from the Sports, Gardening and Arts correspondent of the San Cristobal Gazetta, who claims “a representative from Newcastle United” was present at a match in the Venezuelan third division, between Ciudad Vinotinto and Funacion Cersarger?

Even worse, when else during the season would we even consider reading it?

Sorry, but I just can’t get too excited about who we’ve been linked to, but I have to admit to being a little concerned about who we might lose in the name of generating funds.

In my last piece I made no secret of the fact that I think Dubravka is a better keeper than Pope and it has just been a case of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time that has cost him the number one slot. So, it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I would be a tad annoyed, to say the least, if he leaves.

With nine wins on the trot, six clean sheets and only three goals conceded, the Devils Data (or “stats” as they are also known) must surely back me up there. We have to do whatever is necessary to keep him on the books at St James’ Park, at least through to the end of the season, and hopefully even further. A year’s extension so he doesn’t go walkabout for free and maybe a pay hike as a little bit of compensation towards what he loses by not going to Saudi?

Next possible exit is Lloyd Kelly.

Mmmm. This is a tough one. Well it’s not really. On the plus side he can slot into two or three different positions, and that’s a seriously valuable attribute for a player to have. The negative being he doesn’t do any of those positions quite well enough compared to others in the squad, so he’s always going to be a Carabao Cup player, spending the rest of his time sitting on the bench praying for red cards and injuries. We need players on the bench who are good enough to be challenging for regular first team football.

Oh, and one more plus – we got him for nowt, so if we sell him, it’s all profit and we’re another step ahead of the accursed PSR mafia.

There has been talk of Sean Longstaff moving on.

My heart says keep him. Don’t ask what my head says.

He’s a local lad and we went through a spell when him playing seemed to guarantee us a win.

Truth be told he’s decent, but I suspect that with the competition for places in midfield he’ll soon be struggling for regular game time, and might be looking for something a bit more involved than just being a bench warmer. And as with Kelly, he would be all profit.

We’ve always claimed that us Toon fans like nothing better than a player who tries his best.

Nobody on our team tries harder than Miggy and on the plus side he’ll play either wing if needed. That said, he’s just not getting the game time that he wants and as things stand it looks like he might be on his way back to Atlanta for some first team football and probably less money.

If he goes we would get to wipe his wages off the salary bill.

In a rather bizarre financial twist, when we bought Miggy, it was reported that Atlanta put a sell-on clause into the deal, so whatever they pay us for him they immediately get a percentage of that handed straight back to them.

At this point, some of you might be questioning Miggy’s loyalty.

We’ll do “loyalty” a bit further down the page.

The only other player currently distracted by transfer rumours is our resident superstar – Alexander Isak.

When I said above that we like a player who tries their best, I suspect that many fans like Isak’s “best try” a bit more than Miggy’s, at the moment.

We’ve obviously clagged a humongous price tag on his head to try to scare off the big boys, but rather than depending on our monster valuation to ward them off, I would hope that Isak, Tonali, and Bruno, the gems in our crown jewels, are smart enough to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I hope that they can see what Howe has built in such a short time and can see that we’re just a couple of half decent players away from seriously challenging for the Premier League title.

The problem is salaries.

How long will it be before our superstars’ heads are turned by offers of an extra four or five million quid a year?

Can we compete with that?

I need to put a caveat in here.

We currently have the best team I’ve seen in decades and for a change, we have a handful of players who could stroll into just about any other team in this, the best league in the world.

This next bit is not a swipe at the players.

I’m just pointing out the reality of the Premier League and the benefits to be had by the players.

Back to that myth that I mentioned earlier – “loyalty.”

I refer to it as a myth because in business it’s really more of a fairytale thing.

A few years ago I was having a pint with Archie, a mate of mine, and just before he slid off his bar stool, he was having a go at Andy Carroll, slagging him off for accepting the move to Liverpool. “It’s not aboot money, it’s aboot loyalty”, he insisted. “We put the lad where he is today. He shud show us some gratitude!” And down he went.

I didn’t see much of Archie for a couple of months, then one match day he turned up for a beer in Rosie’s before the match.

“Haven’t seen much of you recently Archie. Farmers playing up?”

“Nah”, says Archie. “Ah’ve got a new job! Less hours, and a 25% pay rise, and ah hev to travel a bit. Ah cudden’t torn that doon.”

The irony bypassed him completely.

At the highest level, players have a very limited shelf life. During that period it’s reasonable for them to make every effort to bank as much cash as possible to secure the future for themselves, their loved ones, and even their wives.

Unless your name is Matt Le Tissier this is invariably going to involve a bit of club hopping.

At Real Sociedad, Isak was reportedly on 20 grand a week. Then we came along and said, “If we offer you six times your current salary will you come and play for us?”

To which he replied, “What time’s the flight?”

That would have to be some serious loyalty to turn down a 500% pay increase for doing the same job.

So far this season, only Salah and Haaland have scored more goals than Isak, and while I appreciate they have a longer track record, they are reportedly on roughly triple Isak’s salary.

What would happen if Arsenal or Chelsea came along and offered to double his wages?

That would be the equivalent of a fleet of 63 Porsche 911s a year.

Money talks.

And footballers are great listeners.

While there’s no talk of Bruno leaving, despite the talk of his kids being Geordies, and the rampant badge kissing when he scores, the Brazilian is one of that handful that I mentioned earlier that could walk into any starting line up in the Prem, and his services are severely coveted by top teams around the planet.

I’m not trying to scaremonger and I’m not suggesting for a moment that he’s up for a move this month, but he left his last two clubs halfway through long term contracts, and historically he does like a January move!

Let’s just say that maybe we should be relying on something a little more tangible than loyalty to keep him in the Tyneside fold long-term.

Despite me trashing the whole concept of loyalty, the one player I would expect loyalty from is Tonali. Since his return he’s been phenomenal. I’d even go as far as to say he’s as important to our progress as Isak.

The club have shown him incredible support where I don’t think many other clubs would have been quite so “understanding.”

I would hope that he commits to at least another 18 months with us, as a show of gratitude.

I suspect he will. The lad took a voluntary pay cut when he was banned. That says a lot about him.

And I also hope he doesn’t cave to the youngsters’ fashion trend and sticks with his “That 70s Show” hair. He’s the only player in the team who could pull that off!

On a holiday with some friends, after a few drinks we were having a laugh and the conversation turned to which couple in the group we thought would split up first.

Chris and Patty were favourites because they had both been married when they met, and had left their respective partners to be with each other. The logic was, if they left their partners for “something better” once already, odds were at least one of them would do it again! Old habits die hard and all that!

The more eagle-eyed amongst you may have noticed that I didn’t mention Anthony Gordon in my assessment of our requirement to hold onto our superstar players. It’s not that I don’t want to hold onto him – he is without a doubt one of our better players – but of the squad that we currently have, I have him top of the list to bail out when a better offer comes along.

I’ve watched interviews with him and he seems fairly intelligent, so I hope he can see, appreciate, and want to be a part of what the club (Eddie Howe) is doing, but let’s not forget how he arrived with us.

He’s quick and skilful and puts everything into his game (when he’s in the mood), but allegedly forcing a move from Everton by not turning up for training, if true, shows us a lot more about his character than anything he could do on the pitch.

Like Chris and Patty, in my mind, he has to go down as a possible repeat offender, should the “offer-tunity” arise. And if he goes along that particular path, good luck to him. Everyone should be encouraged to do what is best for themselves! I would certainly prefer him to stay and go on to be an SJP legend, lifting the first silverware for the club in 55 years!

Reference these superstars above, the best incentive for them to stay, apart from a salary increase, would be a trophy or another crack at Europe. So oddly enough, that incentive lies in the hands of the players themselves.

Why is it that transfer windows always seem to “slam” shut? Isn’t it about time we gave them a squirt with WD40? Personally, I can’t wait until the window glides gracefully closed so I can check online and see who, if anyone, we signed.