Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at the Sheep’s Boudoir | OneFootball

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ THE SHEEP’S BOUDOIR

Viljami Sinisalo. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

VINDALOO – 6/10 – Comfortable in command, Vinny has the air of authority that makes great goalies. Not much to do with his hands, more impressive with his head as he was quick to snuff out an early break and managed to wipe out the rangy rasta hoodlum named ‘Gayee’ according to commentary; Unfortunately for Reo later, not smashed hard enough.

Jeffrey Schlupp. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

SCHLUPPTHE ‘RA – 6/10 – Has he been one of the ‘coasters’ The Brodge dropped due to standards? Looked a bit leggy for a time, or blowing-out-his-backside as they say in coaching circles. Felt his way into the game once he got shot of the dithering and was more ruggedly effective after half-time.

Luke McCowan celebrates, James Forrest and Anthony Ralston look delighted. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

TONY THE TIGER – 6.5/10 –  Like Mordor recently, the old-shcool dynamic duo lit up the right, with Tony supporting and – cleverly – NOT supporting when Jamesy needed the space for bursts. Another fine shift from The Brickie before being hooked early to join the next chopper out to the North Sea rigs.

Auston Trusty. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6/10 – I’m actually not quite sure here whether it’s a good thing that he’s appeared to have cruised through the past couple of matches without needing a skoosh of Lynx, or if it’s that he’s a lazy big sausage who doesn’t mind hitching a ride with his head down.

Maik Nawrocki celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

APOLLO CREED – 8/10 – He’s no’ Rocky but he’s a slugger we can get right behind. The anomaly in the meritocracy turns up AGAIN with quality defensive technique; the cover, the blocks, the aggressive challenges, enhanced by the brusque distribution from deep – EXACTLY the way Rodgers claims he wants it, balls zipped into feet between lines. For the opening half hour as re-jigged Hoops got it together, it was a Rocky showcase, topped-off by a cracking headed opener right out of the Cesar playbook. We don’t need another centre-back. We have a multi-million dollar man right there, languishing in the shadows. Only trouble is, the boss is in denial.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…

Luke McCowan celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 8.5/10 MOTM –  Cool Hand Luke. They’ll never keep him under lock and key – once he freed himself of Sheepy shackles tonight, his mercurial movement tore them apart. Two assists, a sweet strike of his own, and a season-capping display to show he certainly does belong in the jersey he’s coveted all his days. If the fates have conspired, he may find himself replacing injured Reo in the Cup Final; no complaints here if it falls that way.

Callum McGregor. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – “I’m goin’ to sit back and let the weans play…” And Calmac made like Brian Glover in Kes -trotting about a mhan amongst boys, bumping his way into proceedings when necessary, knocking a few woolies out the way, overseeing his makeshift command do the business in style.

Paulo Bernardo. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

SAINT BERNARDO – 6.5/10 – If big Paulo had brought his shooting boots we may have seen a MOTM shift. As it was, he did remind us all of his useful swarthy presence as he bossed the middle.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…

James Forrest celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

JAMESY – 7.5/10 – My God, does Jamesy have us all edging…Legendary folklore reminds us he’s never had a problem getting it up (Ladies…) but after sixteen seasons it seems that getting it IN has become a problem. Could this be…(sharp intake of breath) Whisper it: impotence? After a sclaff past a gaping goal, and two assists (mere foreplay to The Flash) he even tried sneakily sliding one in late on, but the keeper’s lagging boot saved his virtue and denied the Prestwick Pele his record. So onto Last Stand Saturday and the search for the elusive golden goal. Dear Ghod, the tension. ‘Mon the Jamesy – pop it in, do it for glass collectors everywhere!

Johnny Kenny celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

KENNY JOHNNY – 7/10 – Snake-hipped hipster gets his requested start (by Me, Brendan. Thanks for reading and heeding…) and rewards us all with a deadly snapped header for his first Celtic goal. Had to graft his way into this one, shuttling for space all game prior, but the jhoy of the strike made the legwork worth it. Now we have an interesting and concrete pacy prospect as we seek another reliable striker.

Yang celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

YING – 6.5/10 – The wee mhan might not be getting his Nat King but there’s maybe a Korean face-time factor behind tonight’s return to previous Yang impact levels. A sharply taken goal and a couple of close-calls; has a knack of finding space and timing runs, with his own footwork a useful threat too.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…

SUBS –

Alistair Johnston. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

WAYNE GRETZKY – N/A – Surprised to see The Moose up North as it’s hunting season and a few teuchters would have had their shotguns at the game. Escaped unscathed, thankfully.

Nicolas Kuhn. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

TAKINTE – N/A – Cameo, but even in those sparkling minutes of involvement the dancing feet look back in lethal Riverdance mode.

Adam Idah celebrates. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

DUNCAN IDAHO – 6.5/10 – “You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!” Yelled Jim Morrison. “Well, can we still ask him the hell does big Idah get twenty goals in a season where he’s appeared to do hee-all, Jim?” And thus it was proven the Lord does work in mysterious ways.

Reo Hatate looks angry. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

HAKUNA HATATE – N/A – Damn! Smashed by the big Gayee rasta streak of Colin Nish and now his season (and maybe Celtic) finale hangs in the balance.

Sean McArdle. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

FORK HANDLE – 6/10 – Whit? The kid’s back, hanging about the dugout looking young-team-threatening so the boss gives him some more minutes. And that was it, so you might have thought – get a kick or two, back doon the swing-park after dark tonight for a Mad Dug swally with the lads, knock over a few bins, maybe even finally take out that streetlamp with a well-pitched stone chip out of auld McClung’s front garden…No! This kid had me sitting up taking notes – a lefty with natural balance, poise, movement and a lovely sweet eye for nicking a devastating corner pass around static defenders at the edge of the box. Plus he had a dig himself only to be denied a sensational first goal. One to watch, in every sense. May have a player on our hands. Trust me here. Seventeen…Fantastic. The Ginger Yamal.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…

Scottish Premiership. Wednesday 14 May 2025. Brendan Rodgers. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 8/10 – A shuffle and then some. But the name of the game is trust the system and the players you’ve coached to play in it all season. And some you haven’t…*Cough*…Rocky…Then there’s the young-team angle – and we got the Irish JFK (Johnny Flaming Kenny) being encouraged in his first start by the Celtic JFK (John Flaming Kennedy) and nursery school prodigy Sean McArdle thrown in for ten dazzling minutes to exhibit some uplifting finesse. So did The Brodge get pleasure or perplexion from his experiment? Both, I’ll wager. All good though.

Scottish Premiership. Wednesday 14 May 2025. Referee Steven McLean. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

MIBBERY – 5/10 – The blind lead the blind. Daizen had a guide dug for them on Saturday and they needed one tonight when that lumpen, sinewy arrangement of angular joints, Gayee, tried to amputate Reo’s lower leg. Not even a foul, or card. Just a fourth official who looks like he does the door on some Shankhill Road Craigy Whyte hole pub Thursday nights when he gets to molest drunk students at the karaoke, squaring-up to The Brodge. They couldn’t contain the Celts on the park so they think they can let us get kicked off it.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…

Scottish Premiership. Wednesday 14 May 2025. The Celtic support. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

OVERALL – 8/10 – There was maybe a perception among some that Celtic would ease into the end of season, but that’s certainly been dissociated with a series of final league matches where the Bhoys have ramped up the levels best they could despite motivation being blunted due to their own previous excellence. Games like this give an insight – just how consistent is the Celtic ideology through the squad? Has it, through intense coaching and dedication, become an instinctive application for every player called to action? On the evidence available… Yip. Terrific cohesive and faultless segue way between regulars and interlopers brought out the best and we romped it with delightful viewing. At Winterfell tonight, the notions The Sheep had of giving us something to think about for the Cup Final were reconstituted at a molecular level by the devastation the makeshift Celts wrought upon them. They did give us something to think about indeed, though – about how many we’ll take off them at Hampden.

Scottish Premiership. Wednesday 14 May 2025. The Celtic support. Aberdeen 1-5 Celtic. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

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Sandman

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