Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Club Burggers

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The Celtic Star

·28 novembre 2024

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Club Burggers

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v CLUB BURGGERS

“And though you’re still I hear you breathing Maybe that shouldn’t mean much to me But I’ve a reason for believing And I can’t help what I see for This is where we were meant to be This is where we were meant to be This is whеre we werе meant to be Almost…” – This is Where We Were Meant To Be (Almost): Kevin McDermott Orchestra

Kasper Schmeichel speaks to his teammates during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 7.5/10 – “You! Get the finger oot! You – kick in the baws required! You! Yer Da’ wears a dress indoors and the neighbours know it! You – whit’s Japanese for ‘Have you had a nightmare?’ – get yer act together! You – yer Frauline keeps an untidy hoose! Wake up! Listless losers the lot of ye!”…

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Big Kasper pulled no punches with his impromptu team talk after the CCV cataclysm. Perfect personality for such a moment – reset the heads as they drop. Topped his man-management with the splendid and spectacular save of the game using his gold-tipped gloves to keep us in it first minute of second-half after they’d shown us up by winning two big tackles in the middle and burst through; summed up the night – second to everything, but survived by our fingertips.

GREGGS THE BAKER – 5.5/10 – Busy as per usual but surprisingly ineffective. Suffered like many from being off the Burggers’ pace most of the contest. Still reliable enough as he worked hard to counter their torrid flow down his wing until jetlagged from chasing smoke trails.

Cameron Carter-Vickers appears dejected after scoring Club Brugge KV’s goal with an own goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024 (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

WAYNE GRETZKY – 6.5/10 – Those big Moose legs got a work out tonight. Up against a classy winger with a touch and nous, AJ fought it like a Rocky bout, taking plenty of dizzying slugs but rallied really well after the break and gave them something to think about with penetrating support runs.

Cameron Carter-Vickers of Celtic looks on at the end of the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024 (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

GET CARTER – 4/10 – Happy Thanksgiving, Yanks – here’s your turkey. Fitba lessons 101, kids – when passing back to your goalie, it helps to look and make sure you actually have one. Secondly, ALWAYS pass OUTSIDE the posts, just in case you really were hallucinating. Dear-oh-dear, what a calamity in such a game. To his credit, the big mhan took it on his Desperate Dan chin and set his mind well on stability for the remainder.

Celtic v Club Brugge – UEFA Champions League – League Stage – Celtic Park. Ferran Jutgla and Auston Trusty during the UEFA Champions League, match at Celtic Park on Wednesday November 27, 2024. Photo Andrew Milligan

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 7/10 – Happy Thanksgiving #2 – here’s a bemused pilgrim wondering why his fellow pioneer has just invited the injuns to dinner and told the Wampanoag chief his favourite squaw’s a minger. Crusty did very well to negate his compatriot’s suicidal urges and use that athleticism and pace to put in a fine shift, combative to the max against a mobile and physical front line.

CALMAC – 5/10 – It’s the season for some Dickens! Not Xmas Carol yet – tonight for Calmac it was Oliver Twist Wednesday and Fagan’s weasel’s were continually picking his pocket (or two) in the overrun midfield. Says a lot for the skipper’s individual quality that as his support system misfired and he spent most of the game watching it bypass him, he finally got his foot on the ball to assert some pressure for the last half hour and give us a fighting chance.

HAKUNA HATATE – 4/10 – Totally off it. Yes, one blistering strike. But around that Reo couldn’t pick a pass or time a run bar one which resulted in a diving header when a touch and strike was on. Some of his deep play was terrifying – twice putting THEIR centre-forward through in the first half; a link-up working so well that BR tried to buy him for us at half-time. The one we really got away with was Reo’s awful loose ball into the middle which resulted in a turnover and their second, disallowed, goal. Kept swanning about like it was a five-a-side game up Glasgow Powerleague Soccer centre. How he lasted so long, only one man knows. When his touch is marginally off like tonight – even got Paulo booked due to it – in a game of such magnitude, then he needs a mercy-hook early. We all do.

Cameron Carter-Vickers of Celtic appears dejected after scoring Club Brugge KV’s first goal with an own goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE TERMINATOR – 3/10 – An invisible midfielder, we do not need on CL nights. Reminds me a lot of early Matty O’Riley in that we know he’s got talent but suffers – at this young age – from being yet unable to impose himself in games, thus fades too easily. However, the collective’s overall poor display wasn’t helping. Like Matty, he’ll come good. Real good. But bench him meantime.

Daizen Maeda celebrates after scoring during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024 (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

LORD KATSUMOTO – 8/10 MOTM – Thank Ghod (who was in the stand with his missus) for Daizeminem. Electrified in the first half when we could find him, then as we toiled, we had one spark left to light up the night and bhoy, did he ever with a stunning equaliser. Took the roof off, then BR took him off. Why? Who knows. Their blonde teenage moppet, Shirley Temple at right-back, who’d been terrified out of gallusness into damage limitation by the goal, suddenly was back making tik-tok clips and ranting about Just Stopping Oil and we’d lost our most potent in-form weapon.

KILLER MUSHROOM – 6.5/10 – The wee ghuy’s shift work was exemplary and would have been crowned with a goal but for him being a touch or two away from glory. Still, ran his tiny socks off and can consider himself unlucky to be on the end of such poor service.

TAKINTE – 7/10 – Could the German Jinky do it again? A jinking run near half-time lifted chilled arses of seats and was a final deft move away from being an all-time CL classic goal. Whenever we could involve him, you felt there was hope amid the despair, and always a special moment brewing. He dropped, drifted, showed, but the midfield just was not in-tune enough to utilise him properly.

SUBS –

SAINT BERNARDO – 6.5/10 – “Now let this scrapper come to me,” said the Magistrate in Braveheart. “Now set the scrapper free,” said Brendan, as main character syndrome took hold and he paraphrased some famous movie lines for the cameras, biopic in mind… And if our scrapper had been introduced earlier, maybe the Burggers would have had their backsides hands to them on a plate , too. So close with a whack from the edge of the box, the anguish in that moment reflective of the night in general. 1/100 he starts Saturday.

YING – N/A – Late for the date. Maybe another Saturday shift upcoming.

DUNCAN IDAHO – N/A – See above. No time to shine.

JAMESY – 6/10 – Neat and bustling, offered something different and created a few openings meandering across their 18-yard line…Jamesy senses some Xmas parties brewing and we’ll do well to deploy his fitness tactically over the next month between him crashing office dos with mistletoe and his secret Santa; essentially always just a Pinata filled with Johnnies…

UNCANNY – 6/10 – Good to see you kid! Damn shame we’re losing him in January because he’s got great football intuition. Looked hungry for some action and well capable of sparking something all his short time on the pitch.

Brendan Rodgers waves to the fans at the end of the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024.(Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 6/10 – As the team failed to get their act together, BR mirrored it. Credit for turning it somewhat via his half-time intervention, but that didn’t extend to hooking those most culpable early enough, nor baffling everyone – well, ME – by making the Burggers’ most beneficial tactical move of the night and removing possibly-match-winning Daizen just when the tide was turning out way at last, with 15 minutes left. I mean, whit? Don’t sub him – AUGMENT him – let the tricky Spanish kid link up with the zippy Japanese tornado. Did you want the win, Brendan? Rhetorical question, obviously, but…I didn’t get it. I thought the Burggers were spent, and sinking into the same kind of Japanese-induced terror as I did watching The Ring; then the threat was completely removed and it ended more like some kooky anime with big-heided cartoon characters prancing about.

MIBBERY – 2/10 – Not much to complain about here – following the movie-star lookalike theme we’ve had for home refs, this one looked much like a generic action movie extra – sure I’ve seen him mutter a line or two and take a bullet or throw himself on a grenade or get karake-kicked to oblivion in a mass brawl with the hero in plenty of low budget thrillers. At least him and the production team were on it to kill their offside second, Phew.

Ferran Jutgla of Club Brugge KV scores a goal which was later ruled out for offside during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 6/10 – “It ain’t pretty but ye’ll take it..” as my old granpappy said to me on my 16th birthday as he gifted me my ‘present’ down the village brothel…A disjointed, bit shambolic outing against a fine, perfectly disciplined, beautifully orchestrated opponent who was no mug and had the lhads throwing hands in exasperation at each other most of the rotten opening 45.

The cons – we looked like we were making it up as we went along. Miles away from what is required at CL level. They picked us off at will, rinsed us most of the first-half, pressed us and counter-pressed so well we had no answer. Played through us like Jamesy being thrown into a room with the Swedish women’s U-21 netball squad.

Daizen Maeda celebrates scoring during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and Club Brugge KV at Celtic Park on November 27, 2024. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

The Pros – somehow, the Bhoys found the wherewithall to claw their way back into it. Our resurgence was a thing to be proud of; demonstrating how much we’ve improved mentally, that the will to power existed to impose our game on them when given the opportunity and not hide. Finally, the fact we’re mildly disappointed with a draw against the Belgian champions who’ve been writing their own great CL story this season.

So, five down, two wins, two draws and a single defeat. Three to go, one certainly winnable and enough to qualify us. This particular moment in Celtic time has been a dream for over a decade.

Let’s not go too critical on the Bhoys for what’s considered a moderately forgettable night; that in itself shows you how far they’ve taken us on this ride. And we’ve still got the reins in hand. I’m sure we’ve got someone who’ll provide the whip to get us over the line…

On we rock.

Go Away Now

Sandman