James Perch: My place in the Premier League record books and my Magpies pride - and regrets | OneFootball

"I look at it like, 'I'm in the record books for the Premier League, and it'll be hard to get beaten!" he says through laughter. Perch has been taken back to his early days on Tyneside and a sequence of five games - the 2010/11 season's opening five matches - during which he became the first, and to date only, player to receive a quintet of bookings in their opening five matches. "Someone actually mentioned it to me the other day," he continues. "I bump into people, and they know that stat about me!"

It made for an inauspicious start to Perch's Newcastle career. His arrival as a million quid Nottingham Forest utility man that few had heard of was fanfare free. Newcastle had just cantered to the Championship title under Chris Hughton and had first shown interest in Perch ahead of their second-tier campaign. Hughton's assistant Colin Calderwood, once Perch's manager at Forest, had pushed for his former player. "I'd had an injury, but Newcastle were still going to take me," Perch explains. "But Forest said no and kept saying no. I didn't want to leave but I just felt like it was the right time to join a massive club, which was going to be a Premier League club. Everyone knew they were going to win the league. I wanted to join them in the Championship season and get a promotion under my belt. I kept badgering Billy Davies, who was Forest manager at the time, but he wouldn't let me go."

United looped back in January 2010. "And Forest still wouldn't let me go - I thought the chance had gone." Eventually, the dominoes fell into place. Until they were scattered, that is.

In October, Calderwood departed to manage Hibernian, and by mid-December Hughton had been dismissed. "It was a bit unjust really," says Perch.

Enter, centre stage, Alan Pardew. "Some of the players didn't get on with him to start with. I just thought 'it's a new manager coming in, let's just try to impress him.' But I don't think he took a shine to me to start with."

Perch started just one league game across the rest of 2010/11, and totalled only 159 minutes all in. A red card during a March reserve team match following a "little scrap" with Ravel Morrison was a source of Pardew ire. Perch received a three-game suspension as a result and recalls falling out with the manager. It was at that point Pardew began attempting to make him "feel like you're not part of it, which is fine, it's up to him. He could never keep me out in the cold, because I had good friends in the dressing room anyway. The problem was just between me and him."

Come pre-season, while the senior squad travelled to America, Perch went to Holland "with all the wrong 'uns." He is laughing again as he reels off the names. Joey Barton and Nile Ranger were both denied entry to the US. Wayne Routledge was out of favour. Xisco, a signing from Deportivo La Coruna in August 2008, was never in favour.

"Xisco is brilliant," Perch explains. "He is a good pal, and I still speak to him now. He was teaching me Spanish. He was a great guy, I loved him. Obviously, it didn't work at Newcastle and the money that he was on and the signing fee, Newcastle fans have got a bad feeling about him, but as a person, I loved him."

Perch also grew close to United's other South American pair, Fabricio Coloccini and Jonás Gutiérrez. "We've all had a few BBQs at Colo's house. I loved the South American crew," he says. "I tried to speak as much Spanish as I could to them in the morning, greeted them like a South American with a hug and a kiss. I loved the South American culture.

"They were unbelievable characters. I've seen Jonás strap his ankle up when swollen and play on a Saturday. The mentality is totally different."

Perch describes Ranger as "a lost soul" who he saw "absolutely bully top defenders like Wes Brown and John O'Shea - like terrorise them. On his day, he was unplayable. But those days were few and far between."

Despite being ostracised during the summer, by October 2011, Perch was still at United and starting to get minutes again. Starts were rare, and often went together with defeat.

Then came a sand-shifting moment. Clad in luminous orange kit, Newcastle swept to a 3-0 lead at the Hawthorns. A Coloccini injury led to the birth of 'Perchinho'.

"The Newcastle fans really appreciate someone who goes and gives their all wherever they play because they'd do the same thing if they got the chance," Perch says. "I was playing left-back, but when Colo went off at half-time, I went to centre-back. I made a few clearances, a few tackles, and that's where it started."

A week later, Liverpool were on Tyneside. Amongst the visiting squad were former Newcastle stars Andy Carroll and José Enrique, while Kenny Dalglish was the manager. Perch had played centre-back in a heavy defeat at Norwich before Christmas, a game in which Grant Holt dominated United's defence physically. The talk pre-Liverpool game, therefore, was whether Perch and Mike Williamson could handle Carroll and Luis Suárez. "Willo was there to deal with Andy in the air, and so I guess I was there to deal with Suárez." Was that not daunting? "Looking back now, it probably should have been. I didn't even think about it at the time."

The afternoon went about as well as even the most optimistic of home fan could have scripted. Carroll booked for diving. Check. A Papiss Cissé brace. Check. Enrique ending the afternoon in goal. Check. Perch played an instrumental role in the last of those events.

"Before the game, the gaffer said, 'if Pepe Reina comes and catches it, he will look to kick it quickly. So, try and stand in front of him.' I obviously took it a bit too literally! That's when Reina lost his head, and the rest is history."

By way of reminder, Reina's fury led to him leaning his head into Perch's. United's man fell dramatically to the floor. "To be honest, that incident was probably one of the only times in my career which I kind of regret a little bit." For the first and only time in a forty-minute chat, Perch recoils a tad, his embarrassment visible. "I shouldn't have gone down that easily," he admits. "And when I see it happen now, it infuriates me. If I could turn back time, I probably wouldn't have gone down and whether he'd still have got sent off or not, I'm not sure. But it was funny seeing Jose in there."

The red card ended Reina’s 183-game long consecutive appearance streak for Liverpool. "All I know is Pepe Reina wanted to kill me," Perch says. His smile has returned as he explains how Coloccini was utilised as a mediator. "It was just heat of the moment; he was waiting in the tunnel. And he's a big lad. He took his top off and I thought 'I've got to deal with this'! I said 'Colo, go and speak to him.' He never got stressed or angry, really."

Wait, are we talking about the same Coloccini who caught Bolton's Johan Elmander in the face with an errant elbow during a 5-1 defeat? "I think the gaffer got on his back. He just thought, 'right, okay,' and put Elmander's nose across his face. It's like 'Jesus Christ, Colo.' But yeah, he's got a tough streak in him."

In all, Perch started seven of United's final nine league matches, helping secure fifth spot and a return to European football. Instrumental in that late flourish was the mercurial Hatem Ben Arfa, a man adored by those on the terraces. "When everyone asks me who the best player is I've ever played with, it's Hatem. Just because he could do anything. He was unstoppable, when he wanted to be - that's what I think let him down: his mentality.

"He was like a maverick and I think eventually over time Pardew thought 'I've got to play him. He's too good not to play. If he turns up on a Saturday, we'll win the game or have a good chance of winning.' There are only a few players who can get away with that."

Supporters and defenders alike could see the Ben Arfa shoulder drop coming. But even foresight did not lead to prevention. "I got done a few times in training," Perch says. "He was so sharp even when he dropped it, and you didn't fall for the drop. Even if he just touched it past you, he was gone."

European football brought with it opportunity. But even amidst the optimism, the hope, there was always a sense that it would be missed. So, it proved. Despite an acute awareness of the demands regular Thursday night football would place on the squad, Vurnon Anita was the only summer 2012 arrival.

"When you look back, the only disappointment was (the club didn't spend big) the season after to really kick on. Vurnon was a good player and a good lad but when you're playing Thursday - Sunday, you need a big squad and a good squad. We just didn't have it.

"When the window shut, it was like 'right, that's it, we've got Thursday - Sunday now for however long. It's going to be a tough old season'."

It was also, as it transpired, Perch's final season in black and white. Perch departed United in July 2013 having played 72 games (including 47 starts), scored a solitary goal (in a defeat at Old Trafford) and secured cult-hero status.

A trip to the Estádio da Luz where United took on Benfica in the Europa League quarter-finals is Perch's standout memory of his three seasons. "That was probably the best experience. We trained on the pitch they day before and I got kneed by Steven Taylor, the big dope. Straight in the hip, and it was dead. I was struggling. I couldn't cough or laugh. I was in a bad way. I thought I was going to have to miss the game, but the doctor gave me a couple of injections and I managed to get through an hour."

Perch missed the second leg and would play only 45 minutes more at St. James' Park for United. It's clear that the manner of his exit still irks Perch. Pre-Christmas 2012, Pardew had pulled Perch into his office. "He said 'right Perchy, we want to offer you a new contract. But let me just get the January transfer window out of the way.' I was like, 'yeah, fine.' I was never stressed about it."

But in January, re-enforcements finally arrived via a French quintet. Right-back Mathieu Debuchy was first in, later to be joined by Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Moussa Sissoko, Yoan Gouffran and Massadio Haïdara. Pardew called Perch in for another meeting to inform him renewed terms would no longer be offered. "And that's when I kind of knew it was time to leave. Even though I had the rest of the season to play," Perch explains. Does he regret departing with 12 months left on his contract? "Looking back, I probably should have stayed and fought for my place, but I just knew that Mike (Ashley) didn't want me there. Pardew wasn't big enough to stand up to him and say, 'I want to play Perchy.' So, I just thought I'll leave.

"I just regret not going in and saying bye to everybody. I think I saw Thommo (Ray Thompson) the kit man when I went and picked up my boots. But I had a good relationship with everyone up there. Pardew rang me when I left and signed for Wigan. I didn't answer the phone. I didn't ring him back."

Perch has not spoken to Pardew since, and his visits to St. James' Park have been infrequent. He returned as a player during the 2016-17 Championship season with QPR, but had otherwise not been back until August's Sela Cup victory over Girona.

"I want to take my boys to a Premier League game," he admits. "They see Newcastle now as a massive club with a big investment, finishing fourth, playing Champions League - they can't quite believe I used to play for them!

"I've shown them photos and my goal against Man United on YouTube... quite a few times. I think once they've seen the stadium full for a Premier League game, they'll be like 'wow'."

Perch himself is wide-eyed at this point. "I still can’t quite believe, looking back, at how far they've come. Even though they were in the Premier League when I was there, it just didn't feel the same as what they are now. They're a big force now, with a very good manager and looking to get top four, top six. That wasn't our ambition, whereas Eddie now is getting backed and you've got a top manager in charge. We were just always fighting against it."

To close, Perch outlines his overriding memory of his time at United. "Newcastle fans don't forget, do they? I can walk around in Nottingham without being recognised even though I played for Forest for a lot longer than I played for Newcastle. More people in Newcastle would come up to me rather than Forest fans."

Moments after Perch steps back out onto the pavements of Nottingham, a Geordie accent calls out: 'It's James, isn't it? Can I have a picture?'"