JT’s Mags – Here to compete | OneFootball

So, here we have it, the money in the bank game.

After a sterling run of success after the international break put us right on the shoulder of Forest and a smidge ahead of the chasing pack, it was time to cash in the fabled Game In Hand (ta-ra! Clash!)!

I had a feeling of unease about this one.

Having swatted the team that once was Man Utd some three days ago, it felt like the perennial twelfth-placers were a far more obstinate threat to our sweeping wave of unstoppable success.

Palace are a peculiar conundrum, oscillating wildly from slapstick relegation fodder to patches of imperious form that apparently necessitates an alarming amount of England call-ups and sudden eruptions of confidence that can get a bit out of control if I’m honest.

There are serious statements out there from Palace folk that Marc Guehi would be making a sideways/backward step were he to have joined Newcastle last summer, with the incredulous level of confidence in their imminent Champions League push resembling that enormous wave Patrick Swayze attacks at the end of Point Break, both in its excessive and immediate swelling and its equally instant crashing apart on some rocks.

This Guehi business had left a bit of a bad taste, as there’s no other conclusion from the negotiations than Palace seriously took the p.ss. The fact that we maintained a very healthy PSR position to take into our Champions League/post cup winning summer, we got more and more of lovely Fab playing every week and Guehi seems to want to score goals for Newcastle every time we have this fixture anyway, suggests things may have worked out for the best.

Anyway, Palace came here having just lost for the first time in 12 away games after their early lead at the Etihad was obliterated and their game plan of mean defence and counter attacking seemed like exactly the sort of thing we hate.

Bruno lost the toss because of course he did, so it felt like a sharp start was needed to prevent the visitors getting into a rhythm.

This sharp start did indeed manifest as United picked up exactly where they left off on Sunday, cutting open opportunities but failing to apply a killer touch. Murphy was once again on fire, repeatedly looking to do what Murphy does and set up Isak for goals. His fizzed ball across in the opening seconds was just out of reach, and another cross was headed wide by the Swede. When Isak did connect to pull off a fine shot, Dean Henderson made a brilliant save down to his left and you had to hope it wasn’t to be one of those nights. It was actually going to be…but for Palace.

Next time Murphy was put in behind, by Trippier’s first time pass, he seemed to have given up on trying to sort out his mate in the middle, and just straight up fizzed in a thunderous blaster into the top of the net that was the very definition of getting you out of your seat. Murphy walloped this so hard that there was a micro second where I’d completely lost track of the ball, before joining in the explosion that greeted strike of equal cheek, venom and importance. It was so similar in execution to Tonali’s winner against Brentford but the angle behind Murphy reveals his obvious intent, no 70% about this shot, just a great goal and United were on their way.

With the home side in the ascendancy, all seemed well, until an upsetting echo of Sunday looked set to occur, as the opposition found themselves with an ill-deserved lifeline. Nick Pope did exactly what he should, came out and marshalled his area by attempting to thump the ball clear from a long free kick. He mistimed his punch slightly and didn’t really get much on the ball, but Richards became the latest Palace player to treat himself to an unnecessary lie down on the turf. The ref gave nothing, so the VAR sending him to the screen was a nonsense, as there’s no way this was a clear and obvious error. Anyway, once he’s gone to that screen you know what’s happening.

Eze’s penalty could only have been a better summary of bad things about modern football if some melt had been filming himself watching it. Swan dive convinces VAR to give non-pen, then silly young player creeps up towards the ball like he’s executing some interpretive dance piece. Eze clearly wanted Pope to dive so he could arrogantly roll it into the middle of the goal, but Pope just stood his ground, as if to say “what are you doing mate?” By the time the Palace man had finished jigging towards the ball like Cab Calloway, Pope was still stood there, but Eze was committed to the golden rule of the penalty: never change your mind. So he bloody-mindedly went through with the execution of the kick he’d have taken had Pope dived much earlier, allowing our boy to throw his proverbial cap on the softest penna that’s ever tamely trickled towards him. Let off, in a way, but justice served and didn’t this just serve to fire United up?

Straight down the other end and Livramento made an advanced run to release Barnes. He cut in and tried to pick out Isak in the middle, only for Marc Guehi to once again brazenly demonstrate how much he’s desperate to play for Newcastle, steering it past Henderson to ensure he’d notched for us in both of these fixtures this season. A welcome little turnaround to take into half-time.

Obviously the VAR business had caused a bit of added time, but Palace were doing that irritating thing of time wasting from the very start to try and break up any momentum, and they earned themselves seven minutes in which to get duly punished. A quick break from United saw Tonali ping an exquisite pass out to the left where Barnes picked it up and tormented Lacroix terribly before finishing across the keeper and inside the far post. Three nowt and home.

Then, with only seconds of the allotted extra seven remaining, Murphy sent over another killer cross from a free kick that Schar got his head to despite there being three Palace players around him, diverting it past Henderson in the time added on for his excessive messing around at goal kicks. Absolutely lush, let’s bank this one and think about Villa.

There was a small narrative emerging that Newcastle had now notched a cool ten goals in the last three games without Alexander Isak scoring, and if we weren’t careful, papers and drunken ex pros wouldn’t be able to peddle waffle about all the other teams he should be playing for. Isak’s frustration will have grown as Henderson produced another terrific block to deny him early in the half, but the striker would have his moment as the hour mark approached.

Once again the old “play out from the back routine” saw a team fall apart at SJP, as Joelinton came steaming in to dispossess Lacroix and knock the ball towards Isak, who swept in a cool first-time finish. He’ll have enjoyed that goal and it set things in motion for the relative stand down, as the requisite five subs were gradually made to allow recovery for Villa Park.

With Palace doing likewise the game became slightly disjointed, as yellow cards began to flow with unnecessary vigour. Luckily Joelinton had been withdrawn, meaning he has escaped the censure that a tenth yellow card would have brought. Given that Joe is usually the catalyst for tearing Villa apart, this is very welcome ahead of the weekend.

Ultimately, the whistle went on a marvellous few days here at Gallowgate and we were all ever so happy. Surely Eddie can focus on getting better if the good ship Magpie is steering such a steady course under the stewardship of Cap’n Tindall. There’s something very rewarding about seeing our assistant manager stepping up to take the limelight, but I harbour hope that Howe will be returning in some capacity, ahead of Ipswich’s visit here the weekend after next.

I look forward to the visit of the Tractor Boys as I assume the Worzels’ “I’ve got a Brand New Combine Harvester” will play at the full time whistle, after the stadium DJ spun Palace’s own anthem “Glad All Over” after this one (I think it’s by the Dave Clark Five-Nowt). This follows on from Step On by Happy Mondays getting an airing after Man Utd were seen off and I’m not sure if this is just banter or a bit of unnecessary needle. No doubt there’ll be folk at these clubs marking our cards for revenge and that’s never ideal.

The breakthrough is well and truly made. Five points clear of those outside the CL places and in stellar form, I don’t fear Villa and have to feel like the visit of Ipswich is a golden opportunity to swell that points total to a level that all but seals the deal. We are seeing history here, as the trophy win already makes this the best season of my life, but to complement this by equalling our previous greatest achievement in re-entering Europe’s elite competition is astounding progress.

JT’s Mags, here to compete.

Newcastle 5 Crystal Palace 0 – Wednesday 16 April 2025 7.30pm

Goals:

Murphy 14, Guehi OG 38, Barnes 45+2, Schar 45+8, Isak 58

Possession was Newcastle 60% Palace 40%

Total shots were Newcastle 14 Palace 11

Shots on target were Newcastle 7 Palace 4

Corners were Newcastle 5 Palace 4

Touches in the box Newcastle 18 Palace 28

Newcastle team v Palace:

Pope, Trippier (Krafth 79), Schar, Burn, Livramento, Joelinton (Willock 62), Tonali, Bruno (Longstaff 72), Barnes, Isak (Wilson 72), Murphy (Gordon 62)

Unused subs:

Dubravka, Targett, Osula, Miley

(BBC Sport comments from ‘neutrals’ – Interesting on Newcastle United after 5-0 v Crystal Palace – Read HERE)