Thank you Newcastle United – It’s just lush to have you back

In partnership with

The Mag

·10 August 2024

Thank you Newcastle United – It’s just lush to have you back

OK, I’m ready for this now.

Last season had some magnificent moments but as it went on, seemed to be punctuated by a series of demoralising gut punches, be they injuries/suspensions, impossibly unkind cup draws or poor performances in key games that ultimately ended in having to watch our small, salvaged European place disappear in the cup final.

OneFootball Videos

After that, I was very ready to take a bit of a time out and I’ve enjoyed the summer massively. The Euros, time with the kids, getting average at padel tennis, nice holidays and a few dates with my lovely lass (Khai Khai is a magnificent triumph of a restaurant and this reporter is available for sponsorship if the man from there is reading this).

All underpinned by keeping a deliberate distance from the online whines, doom-mongering and downright bulls… that flies around when Newcastle United are having a bit of quiet time.

It was now time for all that to end and I felt thoroughly recharged as I ventured out on a balmy summer afternoon to see the mighty Mags once again trot out at the cathedral on the hill, initially for a Friday night kickabout with (checks notes) Girona.

The concept of the Sela Cup had changed inexplicably as last year’s mini league was done away with in favour of a one-off defence of the title from United. That’s on Saturday and tonight was your traditional pre-season warm up.

I have to say, is it not about time the club shop opened up proper? My godson Adam was all over the chance to attend this weekend’s double header and grab a hundred quid’s worth of shiny new adidas kit while he was on, and I have to say NUFC missed the chance for me to chuck a few bob over the counter due to the supplies not stretching to my unusual size. See, my awkward fitting is that of an adult large, and given that this is neither Small, XS or XXXL, the wares available in the small demountable space couldn’t accommodate. So no, I didn’t make the impulse purchase of the feathery warm-up top I was frantically searching through, only to find kit that was suitable for jockeys or sumo wrestlers.

Instead, I elected to spend that money at the Three Bulls, the Trent House, Castros and Bar Loco, as the utter joy of trekking around pre match haunts was fully appreciated. I will check out the new Stack on Saturday (if the man from there is reading this and would like to get involved in my extensive sponsorship portfolio, free samples will be accepted).

Anyway, it was into St James’ Park and I remain certain that I bought tickets in the Gallowgate, but ended up at the top end of the east stand. Noting that the west corner of the Gallowgate was completely empty made me think the club had shoved me elsewhere unsolicited but I didn’t mind, being in unfamiliar parts of the stadium is part of pre-season.

Girona had finished an impressive third in La Liga last year and were no mugs by any means. Being owned by the City group means they must have a bit of clout, although their most familiar players being Blind and Van Der Beek was more reminiscent of Manchester reds than blues.

Anyway, the visitors’ performance wasn’t much like playing Man City in the opening half as United put together some ominous looking form. There were barely three minutes on the clock when Murphy went bursting forward and finding Isak’s explosive run which sent the defence all over, ended with Livramento squaring for Longstaff to slot in the opener.

Murphy himself continued his excellent pre-season form to double the lead ten minutes later. A classic display of Joelinton power won possession near the Girona box and a lovely bit of interplay between Joe, Gordon and Isak ended with the latter aiming a cross for Hall’s header. He couldn’t quite connect but the ball fell nicely for Murphy to lash in behind him.

Seconds later it was three, as Joelinton again robbed the ball from an attempt by the visitors to play out from the back, allowing Isak to send Gordon clear to kill the defence with pace before a cool finish across the keeper, 3-0 after 16 minutes and time for a ponder…

I didn’t know enough about Girona to assess whether this was a highly promising sign of our potential on the counter, playing balls in behind or generally just using pace to terrify teams. It could be that this wasn’t the strongest side the Spaniards could have put out, or they may have had a bit of pre-season lethargy and just not been too invested here (especially without the vaunted silverware at stake). Regardless, there was no denying United look pretty good at what could be a devastating attacking plan for the season ahead.

These positive thoughts were further reinforced when Girona did fashion an opening, only for Nick Pope to smartly save what would likely have been a goal in his damaging absence. God that shoulder needs to stay strong.

The next moment was probably my favourite, even though it ended disappointingly, as Isak went on a tricky, twisty run reminiscent of that superb assist at Everton, before being hauled down in the box. Michael Oliver did not risk any accusations of hometown bias by awarding the blatant penalty and up stepped Isak to finally get the goal he’d looked hungry for all game.

It was a bit of a shock when our star striker followed up his miss at Turf Moor with a relatively poor effort by his standards, forsaking his usual bottom corner slot for a tamer effort at a good height for the keeper to save. Hopefully this is out of the system when it doesn’t matter and he can get back on course for a 100% conversion rate next year.

It would still be four before half time though, as Murphy’s cross found Joelinton somehow unable to get the ball in from a yard out, heading against the bar and getting himself in a tangle, only for it to break to Longstaff for an easy finish. Game well and truly settled, I snuck off early to get a beer in.

The second half was one of those pre-season efforts where various interchanges disrupt the play and the game becomes a bit disjointed. With the rest of the first team being held back for Brest, replacements were from the under 21s (and over 35s with John Ruddy debuting for the final 15 minutes). Sanusi once again looked dangerous when replacing Gordon and chat of him edging into the first team picture this year could prove accurate. Let’s hope he doesn’t become another PSR a sacrificial lamb. I snuck off for another cheeky pint so apologies if I’ve missed anything.

It’s always nice at these games to see people, who obviously can’t get into SJP very often, making a bit of an event of it. The near 32k crowd was filled with happy faces, effervescent kids and a general positive vibe that’s the antithesis of looking at NUFC chat on the internet. I love that everyone gets this chance and it’s one of many reasons I’ve become a big fan of this double-header weekend in the heart of summer. I would have liked it even more though if the bloke in front of me had farted a little less…

People happy, the team looking good and I’m just getting set to head out for beers, bait and a bit of Brest. Thank you Newcastle United, it’s just lush to have you back.

Final scoreline:

Newcastle 4 Girona 0

Newcastle United:

Pope (Ruddy 76), Livramento, Burn (Stanton 89), Krafth, Hall, Longstaff, Jamie Miley (Parkinson 63), Joelinton, Gordon (Sanusi 46), Isak (Hernes 89), Jacob Murphy

Unused subs:

Gillespie, Alfie Harrison, Heffernan, Munda, Shahar

Attendance: 31,958

You can follow the author on Twitter @Mr_Dolf

(Newcastle 4 Girona 0 – Watch all the goals and match highlights HERE)

(Newcastle 4 Girona 0 – United blow away Champions League side in 16 minutes – Read it HERE)

Newcastle United schedule to end of October 2024:

Saturday 20 July 2024 – Newcastle 3 SpVgg Unterhaching 1

Saturday 27 July 2024 – Hull 0 Newcastle 2

Wednesday 31 July 2024 – Urawa Red Diamonds 1 Newcastle 4

Saturday 3 August 2024 – Yokohama F Marinos 2 Newcastle 0

Friday 9 August 2024 – Newcastle 4 Girona 0