And breathe. Matchday two of the Champions League group stage has left us with plenty to ponder.
Here’s the very best of it …
The Team-mate of the Week Award
Goes to Karim Benzema, for telling Ferland Mendy not to pass to one of their Real Madrid team-mates anymore.
“Brother, don’t pass to him,” Benzema said, supposedly referring to Vinícius Júnior. “On my mother’s life, he is playing against us.”
The ‘Stick to Football’ Award
This is for anyone who has ever said any athlete should just focus on their sport instead of using their platform for good. Shut up.
Marcus Rashford has spent countless hours making sure lives are better and children are fed, and he’s pumped up his efforts over the last fortnight after the UK government let those children down.
Then he comes off the bench to score a Champions League hat-trick against last season’s semi-finalists. It’s possible to do both.
Worst Dressed Manager Award
Somebody needs to save Julian Nagelsmann from himself. Immediately.
The Family Heritage Award
Like father, like son. Only better.
Lillian Thuram is a legend of the game but the ex-defender managed just one goal in his 69 Champions League appearances. His son Marcus has already gone one better, netting a brace against Real Madrid.
The ‘X Marks the Spot’ Award
Wednesday night saw a remarkable seven penalties awarded, the most in a single Champions League evening since October 2014.
The VAR Award for Tightest Margins
It wasn’t quite a night to remember for Álvaro Morata, who had not one, not two, but THREE goals disallowed for offside.
At least we know he can definitely stick the ball in the back of the net.
The Don’t You Forget About Me Award
Eight months after agreeing to join the club, Hakim Ziyech finally made his full Chelsea debut on Wednesday. And things clicked pretty quickly.
The Moroccan scored a fine goal to help the Blues to a win over Krasnodar and send them top of the group.
The Award for Best Landmark
Liverpool hit 10,000 goals as a football club on Tuesday. Now that’s the sort of landmark that doesn’t come around very often.
The Desmond of the Week Award
Atlanta v Ajax just promised goals and it didn’t disappoint, providing the night’s second comeback from 2-0 to 2-2.
Duván Zapata scored twice for the hosts, who had gone behind, to rescue a point. We can’t wait for the rematch in Amsterdam.
The Chuckle Brothers Award for Best New Double Act
FERRAN THE MAN ⚪️ 0-1 🔷 #ManCity | https://t.co/axa0klD5re
@Manchester City –
Ferran Torres scored for the second Champions League game running, this time with Raheem Sterling also netting and managing an assist.
With Riyad Mahrez struggling for form, has Pep Guardiola found a brand new pairing for the wings to get City over the loss of Leroy Sané?