Bertie – Tiny Wharton and Red Mist at Birmingham City | OneFootball

The next story about Bertie goes back to his Birmingham City days, to 7 December 1961.

Birmingham were playing in the Inter Cities Fairs Cup against Espanol, to whom they were 2-5 down from the first leg. There had been a little history there and Bertie had fallen out with a brutal character called Ribas.

When everyone arrived for the second leg at St Andrews, Bertie noticed that the referee was Tom “Tiny” Wharton from Glasgow, and the two of them knew each other even though their social backgrounds were different – the gallus and streetwise Bertie from Maryhill and the refined Tom from Clarkston with a slight patronising air and patrician accent. Bertie said to his Birmingham team mates “The referee is Scottish! Ah ken him. Leave him tae me, boys”.

So during the warm up, Bertie approached Tom. There was about a foot difference in height, and goodness knows how much in girth and build, for Tom was a big man, and only called “Tiny” because he was anything but. The conversation between the two of them ran as follows.

“Hello Tom. Dae ye mind o’ me?”

“Yes, I do, Mr Auld. How are you?

“Fine, Tom. Dae ye realise that we are the only two Scotsmen on the park, and we are baith Glaswegians?”

“Yes, I do, Mr Auld.”

“Ah wis wonderin, Tom, seeing as how we are baith Glaswegians…there’s a fella called Ribas. I wonder if ah were tae gie him a “dull one”, if you could maybe turn a blind eye? Seein as how we are baith Glaswegians?

“Mr Auld, I am going to pretend that I did not hear that! Good bye”

So the game started and the Brum were making no impression on this solid but brutal Spanish side. Mr Wharton had already sent a man off from each side, and the game was approaching its conclusion when Bertie did indeed visit Senor Ribas with a “dull one”. Mr Wharton called him over and said “Mr Auld, before the game you told me that there were two Glaswegians on the park. I am afraid there is only one now, namely myself! Off!

Here’s Bertie  talking about Tiny Wharton sending him off while at Birmingham with Big Yogi, George McCluskey, Dixie Deane and Jinky among the audience…

David Potter